Thankful for Sex

It's been a while since I've blogged so I thought I'd try to catch your attention. Jonah Goldshlag sent me this article about a church in Dallas who took the "Sex Challenge". Great Stuff. Have a Happy (maybe even sexy) Thanksgiving!

Little Foxes

This week, I preached the second sermon of the Song of Solomon series. Part of that sermon was giving a list of the "little foxes" that couples should be looking out for. Here's the list:

• Insecurity
• Addictions
• Anger
• Inability to manage money
• Sexual past
• Sexual abuse
• Depression or other mental issues
• Communication
• Conflict (Cowboys or Eskimos)
• Conflict within families
• Faith

These are also issues to be aware of in general. Looking back at the sermon, I think I would have added this one caveat - whether you end up getting married or not you want to be cooperating with God's Spirit as He moves in you to transform these and other areas. All humans have little foxes that eat away at the root systems of our lives and need to be paid attention to. You don't want singleness or youthfulness to be an excuse to let things go until you get older and decide to deal later. The longer these issues are around, the more they sink their roots into our lives.

Not all Heroes Wear Capes - Bryan Hall

I was in the Apple Store this week with my 13 year old son having his Ipod serviced. We were being waited on by a very helpful technician at the Genius Bar when I notice a message on one of the genius's shirts. It said "not all heroes wear capes". It got me thinking - "You know what? They're right!"

I've had a lot of heroes in my life so I thought that periodically I'd share about some of them. The first one that came to mind for some reason was Bryan Hall. Bryan was the youth minister at Woodlawn Baptist Church in Austin, TX when I was just starting out on my own journey in the church world. He's still there after serving over 20 years. Bryan isn't your typical youth dude. I noticed that most of the guys doing youth ministry were trying to be really cool so they could impress the kids which they thought would then lead to the kids wanting to listen to what they had to say.

Not Bryan. He is just comfortable being himself. For example, his main source of humor is punnery. This guy can make a pun out of anything and once on a roll he just can't be stopped. While the jokes are corny beyond compare, they stand as a symbol of his unique personality that God has shaped and used to bless a whole lot people in his church and beyond.

He has much more to offer than puns. He also has a really unique gift of administration. He can juggle a million and one details and make it look like he is having fun - I'm fairly certain it is because he is. While served as a youth minister at a church in Austin, he directed our yearly summer camp of 500 kids/chaperones and our yearly Mania Marathon event which was a New Years Celebration for teens that was attended by 2000 plus people and a yearly retreat for youth workers. All of this on top of his other duties at his local church.

While all of this admin looks like leaping tall buildings in a single bound - the most impressive part of his ministry is his relationships with his youth. He and I were assigned a Jr. High Boys cabin one year at camp. It was late at night. I had about had it with my little band of testostrone driven teeny boppers. They had finally gotten showered and in bed and I was settling in to my squeeky bunk for a moment to myself. As I lie there, I catch Bryan out of the corner of my eye.

He's working his way around the room to have an end of the day chat with every one of his junior high boys. With some, he had a laugh. With others, he had a serious conversation. With others, he said a quick prayer for whatever it was that was a pressing need. This man who had somehow got his sizable youth group through a day at camp, directed the whole camp, was now tending to God's flock that was under his care.

I don't think I said anything to Bryan that week but that moment sticks in my mind as a model for what ministry looks like. It's one life at a time. It's personal. It's delivered according to the needs of the person with whom you are working. It's done with a sacrificial love that can only come from Jesus.

Thanks Bryan - You're my hero.

Watchful and Thankful - On a Monday?

Yesterday's sermon was on the nuts and bolts of prayer and came from Colossians chapter 4 verses 2-4. It was a reminder that we are called to devote ourselves to prayer (be consistent and intentional) and that we should be both "watchful" (looking forward for God's agenda instead of our own) and "thankful" (looking backward and remembering what He's done so far).

So here I am on a Monday morning. I'm not bantering from the basement because all three of my kids are down there and I'm in the living room trying to get some work done. My wife is out of town and so I'm on kid and pastor duty. I can hear the crying and fighting as I type knowing it's building up to a nuclear melt down that will need to be dealt with in the next few minutes.

Just a minute I hear them coming up the stairs now . . .

I suspect many of you are having a similar kind of Monday. Maybe it's kids that fight or finances that don't add up or morning sickness or who knows what. This is why we're told to "devote" ourselves to this prayer thing. It's when we feel the least like doing it that we need to do it. So from the bowels of a Monday morning, which is probably a better place to try this truth on for size than the Sunday morning hoopla, hear the sermon again. "Devote yourselves to prayer being watchful and thankful" and have a great Monday!

2020 vision (and the McCullahs) hits the ground

Today, the 2020 vision of our church hits the ground in a major way. Ryan and Christie McCullah have arrived from Richmond, VA to join us in our efforts to plant more churches in our happy valley. Ryan is going to be our first "emerging planter" meaning he will be working alongside myself and other staff for the next year as well as be laying groundwork for a church plant in South Hadley, MA. They are in the middle of moving and raising financial support and trying to get their feet on the ground in a new culture. On top of that we are two weeks from lift off for the fall semester. I really appreciate their willingness to faith with us in this adventure and pray that God exceeds what they are currently imagining will be His work in them and through them.

Scoop the Poop

When looking for qualified leaders in the church, I always watch to see whether they are willing to "scoop the poop". In our house, one of the most exciting chores is mowing the lawn. I have a riding lawn mower which for my two boys might as well be a Lamborghini. Every time they hear that engine roar, they come running to the garage to see if they can get a turn on 18 horses of pure adrenaline.

What they don't come running for is what precedes the YTD joy ride. In order to prepare the yard for mowing, one must first scoop the poop. We have an 80 pound golden retriever named Buddy that lives in our backyard and whatever he eats seems to always come out the other end. These deposits are made daily and rarely if ever removed until it's mowing time. When it comes time to do the deed, I often find myself combing the house looking for potential helpers.

When looking for church leadership, this scenario can play itself out in a very similar way. People are sometimes eager to serve in ways that bless them or give them recognition, but are not willing to be inconvenienced much less seek out menial jobs. Jesus did much to combat this consumerist way of thinking right up until and including his death.

In John 13, we see Jesus noticing that none of his disciples were interested in poop scooping. Everyone is sitting around the Passover table discussing who is going to get the top cabinet posts in the new kingdom. They were also probably wondering why one of the underlings wasn't hopping to it and getting their feet cleaned up before dinner. Then the embarrassingly unthinkable happens. Jesus scoops the poop.

Jesus, the one with the most credentials and the highest position in the company gets down on his hands and knees in order to wash off the dirt, poop, who knows what else from the disciple's feet. He then gives them a follow-up lecture on leadership which I'm sure He had given before but this time seemed more poignant.

"'Do you understand what I have done for you?' he asked them. 13'You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. 14Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. 15I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. 16I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.'" John 13:12b-17

He revealed to them that night (and the next day) what is at the heart of a leader - service. A Christian leader must have (and be constantly seeking) to serve others. We have hopefully found ourselves in the place of leadership in the church because the church has seen us giving ourselves away for others in response to the Gospel which is another scoop the poop story. Jesus describes His sacrificial death in this way

" just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many." Matthew 20:28

In other words, on a cosmic scale, he scooped the poop. The one who is highest doing that which is considered lowest. It is a special connection with Christ, when leaders embrace this calling in our lives to put the needs of others in front of our own as He did for us and for all of humanity.

My Big Fat Failure

Every church planter has failures. One of mine was the way I communicated about money in the first few years of our church plant. I knew that people didn't like it when preacher types talked a lot about money so I wanted to stay as far away from it as I could. In our first 12 months, we didn't even put out an offering basket. The problem with this - giving is one of the most faith-building disciplines of the Christian life.

The Bible is clear that giving is something that every Christian should do. Generosity is to be one of the distinctives of the culture of church. We, who have received the most generous gift imaginable (the grace of the cross), are to mirror that same generosity toward others. The Apostle Paul communicates this to the church at Corinth in this way:

"Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." (2 Corinthians 9:7,8)

New Testament giving is not something pressed on the Christian by some sort of compulsory law. It's a natural response to the generosity of God. This was my understanding of giving - and still is. My reasoning went something like this - If under the law, God's people gave 10 percent of their income back to Him, then Christians, who are under grace, should adopt at least 10 percent as their minimum standard for their giving.

I had adopted that minimum standard as my own when I was a college student. I was a 2 year old Christian. I had worked all summer painting and roofing houses. When I came back to school in the fall, I put in a tithe check for a few hundred dollars in the offering plate. From that point on, I have given at least ten percent to the church no matter what. Rarely has this worked out on paper. The writing of that check has always been an act of trust in God who is my provider and is intimately acquainted with my needs. Jesus says it this way:

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" (Matthew 6:25,26)

Is God central to the reality that we live or not? This is rarely more real than when we are putting ourselves at financial risk in obedience to Him. When people ask me about trying to decide whether or not to give some money away to a friend in need or to a missionary or our church, I tell them that you can't go wrong giving resources away in the name of Christ. Can we really imagine the God Jesus is describing in Matthew 6 scolding us for being too generous and letting us starve? I think not. In fact, the opposite is true. When we're generous, God gives us an abundant harvest of new intimacy with Him, changed lives of those who receive the gift, and yes, more resources to take care of our needs and give away to others.

I was sitting in a conference a few months ago listening to the presenter talk about his own experience with giving. He and his wife had greatly sacrificed in order to bless their church and others. Then he started telling stories of how God had come through for them in concrete ways in order to meet the financial needs of their family. My mind immediately started to mull over my own list of stories. Cars given to us as gifts. Financial gifts of people I don't even know that enabled us to by our first house. A cabin in Maine that we're given the keys to every summer for a vacation at one of the most beautiful beaches in the country. Tens of thousands of dollars that have been given by individuals and one church that have paid our entire full-time salary for 8 years.

I started choking up thinking of all the ways God has blessed us even though our finances never work out on paper which is due in part because we give away over 10 percent of our salary each month. Then God spoke to me in my mind and He asked me a question, "Why are you hoarding this very meaningful spiritual discipline for yourself?" He was right. I had passed on the need for praying, for studying scripture, spending time with other Christians, sharing one's faith, but have rarely spoken to growing Christians about the importance of giving.

So I'm turning over a new leaf. I'm going to talk about money as part of the disciplemaking process. If you are reading this, I encourage you to do the same. To give extravagantly and teach others to do the same. It is one of the ways we can exhibit the grace we've been given to the glory of our exceedingly abundant God.

Welcoming Aliens

My last blog post explored one of the major ways that we devote ourselves to "the fellowship" - that of discovering and employing our spiritual gifts. Another way is through hospitality. While some may have a special gift for hospitality, all Christians are exhorted throughout the New Testament to exercise this very important activity. Here are a couple of examples:

"Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality" (Romans 12:13)

"Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling." (1 Peter 4:9)

This word, hospitality, is a translation of the greek word "Philoxenos" which means to be friendly (Philo) to the alien, stranger, or outsider (xenos). This hospitality is certainly to be extended to our close friends who are in the church but it is to be especially offered to those who are on the margins. Those who are new. Those who are nervous about stepping foot in a church. Those who are new to discussing the Bible and are unfamiliar with Christian terms. Those who have things in their lives about which they are feeling shame. These are the kinds of people that the church is making special effort to welcome into the family.

So how do you carry this out? The first is to adopt the mindset of "host" instead of "guest". Whenever we are in our home and people are coming over, we shift into the host mode. The doorbell rings and we answer it. We immediately greet whomever is at the door instead of waiting to be spoken to. We ask if there is anything that our guests would like to eat or drink. If someone spills, we hurry to get a napkin and clean things up so our guest doesn't feel any embarrassment.

This is how we want people to be thinking in regard to their interactions in the church. Our tendency is to meet enough people to feel socially comfortable and then ignore those that are new to the scene. If the new people want to break in, they have to initiate conversation themselves or have a friend on the inside that can help bridge the gap. This may work for some, but many will walk away, especially if engaging the church is scary to begin with.

Once you're looking outside yourself at those around who may be new, it's time to make the next step. Invite the person into your life. It's a great start to greet new people that you meet on a Sunday morning or at house church, but it's not enough to really welcome the alien. It will take an invite to grab a coffee or play softball or volunteer at a MH event. Those of us that are connected to the church, most likely had a person invite us into their lives in a significant way and that is why we stuck around.

The ultimate way of inviting someone into your life is to invite them into your home. In the early church, we see the first Christians meeting from house to house. There is something special that happens when a person gets to experience you where you live. So much is revealed about a person when you get to see them at home. The home itself. The other people that live there with you. Pets, hobbies, pictures, music . . . If you are a fully devoted follower of Christ, so much of Christ will be communicated through the experience of your home without you even knowing it.

This post is part of a series on the basics of being a disciple

God's Giveaway

This past Sunday, I taught from Ephesians 4 where the Apostle Paul describes a team of spiritual coaches (Apostles, Prophets, Evangelists, Pastors, Teachers) who are committed to helping every person in their local body of Christ discover and employ their spiritual gifts. This is a major way that we devote ourselves to "the fellowship" - one of the five devotions.

So what are spiritual gifts? Gifts given to every Christian for the purpose of building up the body of Christ. These unique graces are given on top of the grace of salvation. They are special gifts lavished on us by a loving Father and we are never more alive and in the zone than when we are putting these gifts to work in obedience to Christ.

So here's where I usually begin with teaching the gifts. Romans chapter twelve:

4Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. 7If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; 8if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.

1. Prophesying - This gift is able to foretell and forth tell. Foretell, as in cast a God inspired vision for individuals or for the church at large. Forth tell, as in speak truth to an individual or the church even when it hurts. Notice that there is a warning to do this only in proportion to "his faith" meaning that this person should be careful to not let there mouth get in front of their life and to be careful to speak only when prompted by the Spirit.

2. Serving - This gift sees needs and meets them. Very practical and behind the scenes.

3. Teaching - This gift is able to communicate the truth of the Bible in a way that is memorable and relevant.

4. Encouraging - This gift is able to help others move forward by specifically pointing out strength or weakness.

5. Giving - This gift enables a person to be a conduit for God's resources. They freely give away resources because they are fully confident that God will provide more.

6. Leadership / Administration - This gift enables a person to analyze a situation, strategize a plan to meet the needs of that situation, and mobilize others to execute the plan.

7. Mercy - This gift enables a person to empathize with someone who is hurting - entering into their pain which brings comfort and hope to the hurting person.

Each of the above seven gifts describe ways that all Christians are to serve in the church, but each Christian is also uniquely skilled to employ a certain combination of the gifts (see also 1 Corinthians 12).

So how do I discover which one's I have? Ask yourself these questions:

1. What things am I really passionate about when it comes to serving others?
(helping broken people (mercy); correcting error or communicating vision (prophecy); explaining truths (teaching); getting concrete tasks done (service); organization and delegation (leadership); resourcing ministry (giving); cheering others on (encouragement).

2. What things do I do well?
As in, what things have you done in the ministry of the church that have been fun and fruitful.

3. What things do people tell me I do well?
If you can't think of any encouragement that you've received from others in a specific area, ask someone you trust what they think. It is impossible for any one of us to see ourselves clearly. God's designed it this way so we will be interdependent - one of the important reasons for the diversity of these gifts.

Now go put your gifts to work!

Hannah Montanna and the Heart of Worship

At MERCYhouse, we try to organize our church around 5 devotions - Worship, The Word, Prayer, The Church, and Our mission in the World. One of these devotions is central to all the others and that one is worship.

So what is worship? The closest thing to a definition that I've ever found in the Bible is Romans 12:1. The Apostle Paul writes:

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship."

He starts with the object of worship, that is, God. The Bible throughout Old and New Testament depicts human beings as worshipers. The first two commandments deal with having no other gods before God and prohibit worshiping idols. While this makes sense in an ancient world where everyone was worshiping multiple gods, does this really apply today?

I'd say it does. Worship doesn't have to revolve around something religious, it can be anything that we choose to put at the center of our lives. As human beings, we crave something that we can commit to, think on, work for, sacrifice for, celebrate, tell others about. We are never not worshiping something.

I was reminded of this, when a news story broke a few months back when a tweener, who really wanted to see Hannah Montana, wrote a phony letter into a radio station to try and win some free tickets and back stage passes. She put in the letter how her dad died in Iraq, which wasn't true, in order to better her chances of winning. The letter worked and she ended up getting the tickets.

Then the media started asking her and her mother about their fallen father/husband and they both kept up the lying until someone confirmed that it was a hoax. Most who saw this story shrugged and wondered when they'd be on the next Jerry Springer, but something more was happening here - worship.

The desire to see, be with, experience, celebrate Hannah Montana had become the center of this family's life and they were willing to sacrifice anything to make that happen. Something about that chip off the akey breaky heart, had taken over their mind, will, and emotions to the point that anything that tried to unseat this priority (common sense, fear of embarrassment, morality) was quickly pushed out of the way.

I can certainly remember days as a young tweener church goer when I'd never have dreamed of making that kind of sacrifice for Jesus. For example, I would say just about anything to fit in with friends and have a good time. Even if that included taking God's name in vain or making fun of a kid that wasn't part of our group. Even though I knew a lot about Jesus, believed he existed and that He died for my sin, I wasn't worshiping Him.

Everyone who experiences Christian conversion, becomes a worshiper of Jesus. They have gotten a view of His mercy (aka the gospel) and it has set in motion a surrender of their mind, will, and emotions to such a degree that that they now become a "living sacrifice." The Apostle Paul is most likely speaking of the "whole burnt offering" of the Old Testament that was not mandated by the law. It was instead a free will offering that was completely consumed as a way to communicate to God absolute surrender.

This is what our hearts are all longing for. Something that takes such a high priority in our lives that nothing, not even embarrassment or common sense, can unseat it from our center. It's what makes everything else (the Bible, prayer, church, our mission out in the world) come to life and maintain a level of passion and perseverance that will continue all the days of our life.

*This article is part of a series on leadership.

The Grip of The Gospel

This past November I was reading Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest and was struck by this quote:

"The thing that awakens the deepest well of gratitude in a human being is that God has forgiven sin. When once you realize all that it cost God to forgive you , you will be held as in a vice constrained by the love of God."

My mind immediately went to memories of my grandfather working in his shop. He was always tinkering with some sort of metal object that needed bending or shaping. He would take it over to his old rusty vise and crank it down nice and tight. Then he'd take his ball pin hammer and wail away on it until he obtained his desired result.

I would then go over and try it on for size. Finding an old scrap of metal, I would put it in the vise , muster up all the power of my 70 pound frame and bang on it until my ears rang. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get the thing to let loose - which probably saved me from a good many shrapnel wounds. I couldn't help but be continually amazed at the grip that thing had.

The vise grip of the Gospel is the beginning of every person's story who is an authentic Christian. Though the method of delivery is different for everyone, all are gripped by the truth that they are in a hopeless situation because of their sin and out of His absolute goodness, God gave them (through Christ) a free gift of forgiveness. This is the Gospel - the good news.

Christian conversion via this gospel secures a surrender of our mind, will, and emotions such that we are lovingly constrained as in a spiritual vice. This is essential seeing as how life is going to come at us like a wild eyed junior higher with a ball pin hammer. Recently, a scripture about the centrality of the gospel in our Christian walk came to my attention. It's in Hebrews 13 and says "It is good for our hearts to be strengthened by grace." Implying that it may not be the best idea to seek strength from other (graceless) sources.

These other sources? Anything relating to performance comes to mind. As a pastor, I often find myself enslaved to an approval cycle. Feeling on top of the world on Sunday (if things go well) and then in a pit of despair on Monday when it's just me and God in silence. When I get in these patterns, the road out of them is always the same - go back to the gospel.

You don't have to be a pastor to fall into these cycles. The default of every human heart is to go back to earning our way into the good favor of God. A heart that draws strength primarily from consistent Bible reading, effective evangelism, intimate worship experiences . . . is headed for a manic-depressive spirituality that is going to end in some serious burnout. Unless, of course, these activities are a means to seeing and savoring (that's a John Piper) the gospel that gripped us in the first place.

Everything that we do on this side of conversion is a response of praise, thanksgiving, worship if you will for the free gift of grace given to us in the Christ event. So as we begin our road down a list of characteristics and skills to be sought after by leaders. Let's start with and stay with the most important - to be firmly constrained in the grip of the Gospel.

*This article is part of an ongoing series of articles about leadership

What I'll be blogging on in the new year.

It's been a while since I've posted. I'm on the road for most of this month so I won't be posting much. So here's the plan for the coming months. I've been talking about the need for hanging out with folks. No matter how young a person is in Christ, they have something to offer as long as they continue to grow in their relationship with Jesus. For the next several posts, I'll be covering some of the basic areas of growth in a disciple's life. Below is a list of the particular areas. My hope is to use this process to get some writing done and then put the results in a book that will be used with our leaders. I'm hoping to hear some feedback as to what would be most helpful in the different areas mentioned or if there are areas that are missing.

1. The Gospel (How every topic on this page and more all stem from the gospel - the gift of grace given to us in the Christ event)

2. The Five Devotions, (Five domains of the Christian life: Worship, Prayer, The Word, The Church, The World )

3. Time Management (the grid: roles, goals, time sheet, evaluation and tweaking)

4. Fishing For Humans (taking initiative in the lives of others in your life or in a fishing pool event)

5. The Small Group Experience: Hospitality; Community Building; Corporate Worship; Bible Study Discussion; Prayer

6. Fishing For Humans (taking initiative in the lives of your small group members)

7. Shepherding: Listening and Questions (the art of conversation)

8. Shepherding: Biblical Guidance (common issues in the lives of disciples)

9. Mobilization: Spiritual Gifts (Romans 12, Ephesians 4, 1 Corinthians 12)

10. Multiplication: 3 stages of raising leaders (Jesus did it / they watched; they did it Jesus watched; they did it)